Win, Lose or Draw

Well, things are really going downhill but I don't wanna bother to think about them so much. Coz I've learnt that nothing ever pays when you keep clinging on to whatever crap that has happened and has totally made it difficult for you to move on. See, that is the problem when you have experienced failure, the first time must have been a drudgery, too painful to bear. But subsequent ones would end up being deliberate attempts at making people look down on you. And you just don't wanna care. It's like a deadly disease. Hah.

So, you would have probably gotten my drift. Aaahhh, I'm gonna do badly for the As. Yes screw me but my fate has been sealed. Even with one more subject to go, I know more or less how I'm gonna fair for the entire exam. And it's nothing good, really. I'm left with trying to sit myself down and make amends with my Maker. I'd like to think I'm a wrecked mess but that's just a lame excuse.

Anyway, I've resorted to cracking my brains for a backup plan. I looked up the net and the fees for studies abroad are bloody exorbitant. Forget getting a cert, I won't even be able to raise enough funds for plane tickets. That does not mean I'm not gonna try for it right? Ha ha ha. I actually bothered, for the first time ever, to read through the RD Sweepstakes, filled up the relevant infos and stuff the thingy in the envelope provided and will be mailing it soon. I'm hoping to eventually win the $600,000 so that I can make use of the money for further education.

NOW TELL ME I'M GOING NUTS! Coz indeed I am. You wouldn't believe how far-fetched the sweepstakes thingy really are. I've had tons of them mailed to my household with my dad subscribing to RD, Time and National Geographic. Most of them comes with the usual standard procedure, an introductory offer for a particular book in order to qualify for a draw alongside a car or other stuffz. Still, they do have the envelope meant for those who do not wanna get the book (the option I'm going for), so for this, you only have to send back a couple or so of the forms given and be deprived of certain other benefits (for my case, I don't stand a chance to win a $75,000 Peugeot. Damn.).

It's funny how the forms always state that my household is the only few selected for any particular draw. It's even funnier coz me and my brother got the exact same offer (hokay, so it uses our names but it really is being paid for by my dad). Like what are the chances that two persons from the same household could be part of the selected few chosen for the draw? As in, how does that determine that we are really the elite of all elites? So, it is probably just a bloody gimmick. The reason why I'd always though those sweepstakes thingy is not worth taking part in. Only this time round, coz I am really desperate, I'm actually taking a few moment to send back whatever forms just so I can qualify for the draw. And it's crazy coz I really wanna win. That amount of money could more than fund for my further education man!

Ha ha ha.